what is more important to you
what others think of you or
what you think of your body, mind, and spirit

is your natural energy, essence, and inspiration
worth more to you than acquired material things

is gaining
more or less
painful than losing

speaking with the mystery
refining your nature
studying your emotions
will inform you

if you love too often
you will exhaust yourself and die

when the power of the tao source of life
flows into you from above
contentment and happiness abound

when you know how to extend your love and life
in a way that does not impose itself on the universe
then you will flow into it
knowing when to move forward and backward
when to twist left or right
when it’s time to float upward or settle downward
when it’s best to move on
or simply stand still

know these things and you will realize your limitlessness

be the sacred friend that joins the hands
of heaven and earth
accepting all the flaws and faults
within and without your bodymind
bearing on your shoulders
the good and the bad all around you

and you will preserve the bodymind of the world

—Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching; An authentic Taoist translation. translated by John Bright-Fey

There is a social tension at the time of writing this Meditation, a tension that seems to have always existed with humankind but that has perhaps exacerbated recently. It is the divide between the materialist and the religious world views—a difference specifically of values: one extreme holding favorable and measurable outcomes as the good, the other holding proper moral conduct as the good. In Chapter Forty-Four, Lao-tzu weighs into this conflict amicably with questions for each of us to answer.

He begins by asking what we should value, other’s opinions of us or our opinions of ourselves—and not just ourselves, but our full range of self. This transforms the question: what’s more important, the limited, biased, skewed, and shallow view of you from the eyes of another person? Or is your assessment your yourself bodily, mentally, and spiritually (i.e. morally and emotionally)? Put another way, we’re are beings asked to consider, if forced to sacrifice one for the other, which would we choose? To be loved by others but loath ourselves? Or ought we be despised by our neighbors and yet love who we are?

In the same vein Lao-tzu asks us, which do we value more? Our motivation, our character, and our meaning and purpose; or is it wealth, prestige, power, and status that is more valuable? Again, let us frame the question this way: if we must sacrifice one to gain the other, which is it we choose?

is gaining
more or less
painful than losing (Lao-tzu)

Asked another way, “is gaining material things worth the loss of self-respect, self-love, or self-acceptance?” Vice-versa?

We are implored to look inward, to cultivate our conduct, and to contemplate these questions. And if we do, we will learn that we cannot serve two masters. To love that which comes from externals and to love what we ourselves create sets us against ourselves, either side vying for the place of highest value. For when push comes to shove, when the context arrives in which to have one means to lose the other, we must decide or become petrified—unable to move, unable to decide what Road to take.

To break from this fate, we must align ourselves with how things really are. We must seek approval from inside, for the universe will not always (perhaps not ever) conform to our will and whim. But if the will can be brought to appreciate the way things are, the way we are, and how we and the world fit together, then we will be by the very definition of the word content. We can love externals (e.g. others and the material reality in which we exist) only when we can love it for what it is—and not for what we wish it to be. Only then can we “dance with it.” Only then can we know when to act, when to rest, how far to stretch, because we know where the borders of our potentials lie. And by knowing our limits, we can push them. We know go as far as we can without going farther and inevitably failing as a consequence of arrogance. In this way, we become limitless, able to become stronger and stronger, to bear greater and greater responsibility until, eventually, we may become pillars that stabilize the well-being of our communities and of the world.

Lao-tzu. “Chapter Forty-Four”. Tao Te Ching; An Authentic Taoist Translation, translated by John Bright-Fey, Sweetwater Press, 2014. pp.88-9