Singular—Union—Intimate
|or| Closeness

Look for opportunities to build a consensus with those people close to you. Stand side by side with others to accomplish great things and look deep within yourself for confidence, strength, and inspiration. Be wary of ineffectual leaders even if that leader is yourself. (Bright-Fey 45)

 

Closeness is auspicious. Figure it out: if the basis is always right and steadfast, there is no fault.
The uneasy will the come; the dilatory are unfortunate even if they are strong.

Yin 1: There is truthfulness filling a plain vessel; in the end there comes to be other good fortune.

Yin 2: Closeness from within is correct and bodes well.

Yin 3: The wrong people for closeness.

Yin 4: Correctness of outward closeness is auspicious.

Yang 5: Manifesting closeness. The king uses three chasers, and loses the game in front. The citizens are not admonished. Good fortune.

Yin 6: Closeness without a beginning bodes ill. (Cleary 34-41)

The eighth hexagram progresses upon the seventh: where priorly water coursed beneath the earth, now it rains down upon it. “The Army” taught one to discipline himself, to subdue his desires, and to outwardly follow wise leadership in a course of proper conduct—it is self-transformation via external changes. By contrast, “Closeness” provides advice for the internal transformation. Now, one should not merely behave properly, yielding to correct authority, but he should do so voluntarily. The change must manifest within: one must be determined ahead of time to for close bonds with others, then one must act passionately toward fostering those bonds.

However, bonds ought not be fostered blindly. Intimate relationships can be beneficial, and for weak people, they are absolutely necessary. But an intimate relationship with a bad influence will only drag both participants down. This is true in family, friendship, business, and war. The base of such relationships must be founded on virtues present in one and aspired toward in the other. Notice the assumed inequality: one party ought to be weak while they other is strong, and this is proper because it facilitates learning and cultivation of character in the former’s case and responsibility in the latter’s. If the two intimate partners are both Yang or Yin, they will either clash with one another or else indulge each other’s vices.

That being said, though judiciousness is necessary, the weak-willed should not delay forming these intimate relationships. If they cannot overcome their vices on their own, waiting too long will only guarantee that they succumb further. That makes the situation tricky. One must be discerning, but one must also act with some haste—or at the very least not procrastinate.

Fortunately, the I Ching provides some good advice for the beginning of the journey toward cultivating these intimate relationships. The first Yin represents unadorned sincerity, and it suggests that if one focuses his efforts inward and develops his character, he will naturally attract and be attracted to the kinds of people whom he should follow and with whom he might come to one day lead. The second Yin elaborates on this.

Closeness from within means voluntary closeness as a result of orienting oneself toward the best interest of him whom one leads or follows. That voluntarism is vital, as is its mutual nature. The two parties are engaged in a mutually beneficial relationship. If it is otherwise, one or both will come to resent the other—either for one’s uselessness or for one’s tyrannical control.

The third Yin warns against just such a bad pairing. No matter how well meaning one side of a close relationship is, if both individuals or groups are not acting in good faith, the honest side will feel cheated and taken advantage of, and the dishonest, lazy, or resistant side will feel just the same. There will be subterfuge and sabotage and eventually subtle acts of revenge. It will, most likely, be a slow torture, rife with pernicious passive aggression.

But if the beginning self-transformation and self-reorientation are undertaken, the aforementioned disaster will not take place. If the correct groundwork is laid, and if both parties exercise discernment in choosing partners for their various relationships, their outward actions will reflect that and the closeness will bring about good fortune.

Hitherto, “Closeness” has focused mostly on describing the situation of the lesser individual, he who is in an inferior position relative to that of the one with whom he becomes close. The fifth Yang, however, describes the leadership. According to the I Ching, the wise leader fosters closeness by making his directives clear and always within the attainment of those beneath him. This is what is meant by the metaphor of the hunt. “Three chasers” means that the hunting hounds can only surround their prey on three sides: there always remains the fourth path straight ahead. Like the prey during a hunt, those in subordination to others must be left such a path. They should never be put into impossible situations and then punished for a lack of success. The wise leader knows this and acts accordingly, and thereby does he foster closeness to those below him.

Lastly, the sixth Yin warns against a kind of premature or else misguided closeness. This type of intimate relationship is characterized by having no beginning, meaning that the groundwork has not been laid or else the individuals involved have not taken the necessary time to judge one another properly. Though closeness in invaluable for both those in superior and inferior positions, it cannot be rushed or used without first cultivating virtue in each party. A proper analogue might be a harmonious marriage: a potential husband and wife should carefully select one another; they should ensure their values are aligned, and each should be eager to fulfill his or her role. Such caution will bode well, but if one delays too long,—being too choosy because he or she desires to get the benefits of leadership without the responsibility, or else get the benefits of being a dependent without the loyalty and obedience—then his or her vices will grow in the interim time. Likewise, if they rush, their values will be discordant, and they will fight for dominance and control.

I Ching; The Book of Changes, with commentaries by Cheng Yi, translated by Thomas Cleary, Shambala Library, 2003.

I Ching: The Book of Changes; An authentic Taoist translation, translated by John Bright-Fey, Sweetwater Press, 2006.