MEDITATIONS: DOKKODO; THE WAY OF ALONENESS VIII.
Principle Eight
Never let yourself be saddened by a separation. (Miyamoto, Musashi)
All things must eventually come to an end: life dies and decays, stone erodes, and metals corrode—even gold has a half-life which dooms half its atoms to annihilation. Ideas, institutions, and relationships are no different, no less finite than the beings from whom they emerge.
Therefore, separation is inevitable.
Togetherness is, after all, a form of relationship between individuals and/or groups. Separation is the termination of a particular arrangement of togetherness, which can only be sustained so long as the parties involved can maintain their mutual proximity, mode of relating, and even mode of being.
But people change. They move; they age, mature or degenerate, losing old roles and habits and forming new ones. No one is the same man he was a decade ago, nor a month, nor a week, nor even a day. The same can be said of objects, places, even ideas. None of these things exists outside of time and outside of context. A plate today may seem the same as it did yesterday, but the former was not imbued with the memories and associations imparted on it by today’s favorite meal. The other plates, left in the cabinet, likewise are painted with connotations. They are normal, common, and generic. They lack the sentiment which connects the special dish with its identifiable pattern and record of service across multiple occasions of joy.
And yet, no amount of sentiment will make it not a plate. One day, it will chip or crack or break, maybe even shatter into a thousand pieces, irreparable, dust in the wind. Likewise, nothing will make one any less human. One day he will die. Perhaps the plate survives him and gets passed down to his children. In such a case, the relationship and sentiments once extant in the dish vanish, become replaced by new relationships and sentiments relevant to the new owner.
In either case, a separation is inevitable. It is outside human control when and where any given thing meets it end. Such matters belong to the Way, and to be saddened by fate is to deny the way things are in favor of how one wishes things would be. This puts one out of accord with the Great Course, in disharmony with reality. Clinging to such desires prolongs and exacerbates suffering, adding bitterness and resentment to sadness.
Though it is a difficult thing to do, one ought to remind himself often that he must one day become separated from each and all his attachments. His favorite plate will break; his parents will pass on; even his wife and children may die before him. If he achieves great feats of skill or business, he will likely see his physical and social decline from the top to the forgotten bottom. The world will move on, and all those things which he attributed to himself will be taken from him. If a man reflects upon this, not in defiance but in acceptance, then he can experience gratitude for the time and relationships he has.
And when time comes to take those relationships back, in place of sadness, just perhaps, he might feel thankful instead.
Miyamoto, Musashi. Dokkodo, translator unknown, 1645.
